The Absolute True Diary of Hans Berlin

“One thing I love most about this ‘job’ is the traveling part. I always wanted to perform all over the world, hop from one country to another, see my face on posters and in magazines in different places, and have all my travels and hotels paid for. Since I started doing porn, these and many more dreams came true. Only the performing field has changed slightly – when I was dreaming back then, I thought I would be performing as a ‘real’ actor or singer. But, life has its own mind. And so I am on another trip around the world – as a porn star.”

Gay Pride in Amsterdam. After my ride with the scooter, I took the plane to Holland’s gay capital, where my friend Kenya waited for me. Kenya works as a tranny hooker in the Red Light District of Amsterdam and is one of the nicest people I know on this planet. She showed me her workplace and told me how prostitution is highly regulated, but completely legal in the Netherlands, making it a safe and (almost) normal job. After listening to her, I totally support Amnesty International’s proposal to legalize prostitution all over the world – as long as strong regulations protects its workers and doesn’t create modern sex slavery.

The next morning, I explored the city, hit the gym again, and said hello to my friends at the Mr. B leather store  – many of my show outfits are from them. Kenya also hosted two guys from Finland and another Dutch guy. We all grabbed food together and partied the night away. I can only say the underwear party at Club CHURCH is a lot of fun. As my friend said: “ I like having sex at CHURCH!” Darn, I miss backrooms in the States. It’s really interesting, that when it comes to sex in public, Europe and the U.S. are so different. Before I left for this tour, I went to a jockstrap party at the Eagle in New York (with my friend Alan Cumming, who looks really great in a jock). There is no backroom. And when guys are getting too close to each other, the security guy breaks them off with their flashlights. No sex allowed!! But they show porn on their TV screens. So everyone is horny. What the f…? Now that we legalized gay marriage in the States, we should also legalize sex in public. Like it was before the AIDS epidemic (I’ve heard).

Speaking of which, I’ve also discovered that not too many guys in Amsterdam use condoms anymore. Whatever you do, be aware of the consequences of your actions. But yes, I’m doing my own personal study of condom use in this world today.

Saturday, August 1st, was PRIDE day in Amsterdam. We all got ready at Kenya’s place. Kenya and the others hopped on the Mr. B boat, while I got on a boat that was docked in one of the canals. I enjoyed watching the different boats come by with one of the young bartenders from Club CHURCH – we had our own fun festival. But seriously, if you’ve never been to Amsterdam for PRIDE – go!! They call it CANAL PRIDE for a reason. The parade is happening on boats. And the whole city is celebrating. Even young kids stand there with rainbow flags in their hands.

At night, I had to ‘work’: A live sex show at the Eagle Amsterdam (go figure) with Justin-Bieber-look-a-like Mickey Taylor  – so hot! And I’m getting paid for this – wait, did I say that already?? It’s always fun for me to get close to the locals during live shows. Another study I’m doing: Which Eagle has the best cocksuckers?? Let’s find out.

PRIDE Sunday it was fun at the street festival, some quick gym time, and then dancing at Amsterdam’s biggest party, RAPIDO. Okay, some of the guys I had to dance with are so big that I felt really small (and I’m not fishing for compliments) – perfect bodies that looked perfect in those fancy (and funny) dance outfits RAPIDO provided. The best dancer by far was fellow porn model Logan Moore who actually is a professional dancer. Funny when you learn more about the background of your co-workers in the porn industry.

After RAPIDO, I went home with the young bartender from CHURCH. OMG – he lives at a dorm in the outskirts of Amsterdam. As I’m slightly older than the rest of the people he shares the apartment with, I felt a bit like a teacher who came to the dorm to give some extra help to his favorite student. Hah, real life sometimes is so close to my porn.

The next day, we got up early, and he brought me to the Amsterdam Central Station to catch a train towards Germany. After all the fun and games in Spain and Amsterdam, it was time to relax at my parent’s place and the town I grew up at. A tight hug and a wet kiss to my young bartender, and off I went towards the hills that are alive with the sound of music… the place I used to call home.

Hans Berlin

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