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Are you finding it hard to relax whilst being fucked? Everyone‘s heard of a friend having an accident during anal sex. Many of us ourselves have even had one.  We at Boner have compiled our best tips to make sure you‘re confident that your rectum is totally faeces free.

Bulking up your stool with fibre. Always have carrots and oranges on standby between meals as a snack. This adds bulk to your stool making your body expel faeces regularly. So you will feel light and airy, like a floating fuck machine. Things that you can add to your diet to bulk up the fibre are: flax seeds, spinach, oranges, beans, brown rice and lentils.

A good dose of protein to harden up the stool will also help the transit. Add more wurst to get more wurst.

3 Water. If you add supplementary fibre and protein to your diet without adding water, your body is going to bloat and will not be able to pass the stool through.

4 After shitting, wait 45 minutes before engaging in any bum fun. Your natural lining in your anus does a fairly good job of cleaning itself however putting things up your stinker immediately after excretion is not going to result in the most optimal of smells.

5 Do. Not. Smoke! Smoking irritates the intestinal lining which can cause diarrhoea, cramps, bloating and gas as well as decreasing the efficiency of food digestion; it also can lead to inflammation of the bowels! All in all, not good for fucking. And also, the cancer.

Douching. Every now and then we all have those days where we’re not entirely sure we are as empty as we’d like to be. Douching should only be done once in a while and using a small store bought douching kit. A few small blasts of body-temperature water into the rectum should be enough to cleanse you out. Though your Googling might tell you otherwise, it is not recommended to use the shower rod to cleanse yourself Douching too much and too fast can lead to complications. The water can go too far inside your body leading to cramps and the water finding its way back out when you’re not expecting it. A large quantity of water could wash down faeces from higher up in your digestive system meaning that you were actually emptier before you douched. Douching too much can also lead to the natural bacteria of the rectum being damaged thus exposing you to infections.

Feuchtes Toiletten Papier is your friend. But not too much. We don’t want you to unclog your bowels and then clog the sewers.

Eat! Don’t let anyone fool you into believing that starving yourself is going to make for a better bum sex life. Your eyes should only be rolling to the back of your head from pleasure not because you‘re about to faint.

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